Soyrusalem
|
This page or section may contain outdated information! (You) VVILL help by adding updates and correcting obsolete information. |
|
IF YOU WANT TO JOIN, THE SERVER IP IS PLAY.EARTHPOL.COM |
|
|
 Mazel tov! Soyrusalem is Kosher!
The content of this page has been fact-checked by real Israeli patriots. | |
| June Cypriot-Soyteen Conflict | |||||||
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Part of Raids | |||||||
 | |||||||
| |||||||
| Belligerents | |||||||
|
 Kikewaffen Divison |
 Gaza | ||||||
| Commanders and leaders | |||||||
|
 Gold |
 Apigale | ||||||
| Strength | |||||||
 ~105 'teens |
20-25 Gazans and their allies 4 Goyrusalemites | ||||||
| Casualties and losses | |||||||
|
Heavy losses |
| ||||||
Soyrusalem is a town established by CobsonTALKS and Gold on Minecraft server "EarthPol" [1] It was founded on June 7 2025[2] by CobsonTALKS, before being quickly handed over to Gold. The city was considered the successor to Terradivisa's soypolis. Gold's rule had been widely lauded among members of the Gempire of Soot for his percieved incompetence and impulsiveness in leading the country. The Gempire & Soyrusalem was first conceptualized on June 6th on a raid thread, and officially established on June 9th. The first iteration ended on June 13th, however a second attempt started December 19th and has exceeded far past the original June plans.
They were known in the server for causing immense seethe among the native population of Earthpol by chudding up chat. And it is currently the fastest growing and largest nation in population density.
The First Attempt
Pre-Gempire
Throughout June 6-9th 2025, the people of Soyrusalem would go through a lot development. Going from half a dozen members to 65 in just three days. Despite their numbers, the military efficiency of the City was extremely poor compared to other factions due to lack of equipment. In this time of military deficiency they developed a guerilla warfare tactic calling "Axing" where they ambush an enemy with nothing but stone axes and a shield, mostly in a group no smaller than 4. Other nations; Jerusalem, Cyprus and the German Confederation would develop resentment towards the ShartyBVLLS that inhabitated their server. Causing Gold to set up alliances with factions; Rhodesia, Albania and Agartha.
Sacking of Jerusalem
The sacking of Jerusalem was a campaign to pacify and destroy Jerusalem, a settlement created by a normgroid to LARP as the heccin' wholesome crusaders. Tension began on June 7th when a user called Overplans began destroying Soyrusalem's crops and farm animals using lava buckets, causing Gold to turn off block permissions for outsiders. Overplans would later demand a 50% income tax; however, Gold would call him a "filthy goy" and burn him with lava thereafter. After this, roughly six 'teens would follow the pajeet on the map and kill him twice as revenge.
In response to the tensions, XTHEsilent, the supposed leader of Jerusalem, would try negotiating with Gold. However, Gold declined, demanding either full annexation of Jerusalem or the destruction of their town. The leader would in return reject the offer, and thus the Sacking of Goyrusalem began with a user calling upon all soyteens to grief the unprotected buildings of Jerusalem. Their place was severely lavacasted to oblivion and all their crops were destroyed. 'Teens would later begin to set chunk claims around the two problematic settlements to surround them and prevent expansion, these claims were later deleted by some jannies.
Soyteen-Rhodesian Alliance
On June 9th Soyrusalem would get assaulted by Cypriot larpers, causing massive amounts of resource loss due to the death count. As a result, Gold struck up a conversation with Rhodesia larpers on Discord to aid them with supplies, and military support in case of another invasion. As of 6/8, Cyprus has announced its plans to invade Soyrusalem, with Rhodesia supporting the latter in the aforementioned invasion.
Allegations of corruption by Gold
On June 8th, allegations against Gold, Soyrusalem's current mayor, were made, stating that he was a "Turkish corder", and furthermore that he abused his mayoral powers of Soyrusalem by removing several members after they complained about gold (the server's currency) being wasted. [3]
Raid on Gaza & Levantine-Cypriot War
After the establishment of the Kingdom of Soot, a conflict immediately broke out between Cypriots led by user Apigale and Soyrusalem, led by 33Faq. The war's reasoning was reportedly the Cypriots' attempt to attack a Rhodesian settlement. Owing to the lack of experience and gear of the Levantine army, heavy losses were taken by the Soyteens, of whom were reportedly attacking with stone weaponry against the Cypriots equipped with diamond gear and armor.[4][5] Consensus was formed shortly thereafter that the war was a stalemate, with Gold notably expressing immense rage in the Levantine nation chat [6][7] and kicking several members for continuing to raid the Gaza settlement after the war's end. [8] Gold was lauded after a stalemate had been formed for his percieved mishandling of the conflict, as well as lashing out in nation chat and kicking one member. [9] This battle notably resulted in the beginning of the ongoing conflict between the Cypriots and Soyteens.
Aftermath
The raid, which was a loss largely owing to the discrepancy in equipment between the Cypriots' forces and the Soyrusalemites, led to a regearing of the Levant's armed forces taking place. As of June 11th, the vast majority of its raiders were equipped with enchanted diamond equipment as a result of Gold's demands.
Southern Incursion
On June 11th, roughly two Cypriots launched a small-scale incursion into the southern border of Soyrusalem. A defense force composed mostly of diamond armor-equipped players led by CobsonTALKS was quickly formed to respond, pushing the two raiders back to Gaza. A short skirmish then took place between the Cypriots and 'teens before a stalemate was formed directly on the border between Soyrusalem and the wilderness. Attempts were made at utilizing both lava and arrows to attach each side, but with little results. The combatants gradually withdrew from their positions shortly thereafter.
.png)
Siege Update
On June 13th, an update to Earthpol will be released allowing for nations to besiege other nations'. Gaza, under Cyprus, has announced its plans in advance to besiege Soyrusalem once the update releases.
Final days of the Gempire
After one month of the Gempire of Soot being established we eventually lost too many soyteens thanks to jannies being obnoxious niggers who helped our enemy on the first siege, most 'teens stopped playing afterwards because of poor management of the nation (Gold being a retarded nigger by giving perms to any nigger who asked and eventually one of them stole all our reserves of gold) and the aftermath of the first siege agaisnt gazacucks being helped by staff members which demoralized a lot of 'teens. The final days were not sour and we rejoiced on the experience and fun we had baiting the general chat and ambushing unironic faggots and corders and the funny times where we carpet bombed gaza and leveled an entire mountain just to spite...and it was a very gemmy experience.
The Aftermath of the fall of Soyrusalem
After Gold had resigned and quit the server the city got sold off to Byzantium and plundered of anything valuable. First its territory has been reduced and later on the city was completely wiped off by the jannies. The whole area where Soyrusalem stood was rolled back to its original state and its claims got greately reduced. Now under a new name and owner whats left of the city remains empty and abandoned, a shadow of what it used to be.
Territories By June 14th:
Soyrusalem (Capital) - Levant
- 1. Gold mine outpost - North America
- 2. Diamond mine outpost - Southern Africa
- 3. Creeper XP farm - Unknown
- 4. Turkey Military outpost - Southern Anatolia
Soykanda - Levant
Soyrusalem - 2nd Colonization[10]
Events & Happenings
You VILL mention new events that happened in this section!December 19th, 2025
Jewtopia is born:
- Gold returns to the server to re-establish Soyrusalem to find that it has been left unclaimed along with the whole area reversed back to a state before the Empire of Soot gem'd it up; xe would put the nation under the name "Jewtopia" which later gets reversed back to the name Soyrusalem in later events. Co-Owner of Earthpol 0xBit helps Gold fund Jewtopia with a shulker of 15 stacks of golden blocks.🗝️
December 20th, 2025
The RomeCUCK crusade on Jewtopia:
- The Roman Empire and some other SNCA nation declares a crusade on Jewtopia, but nothing major happened. A RomeCUCK requests to duel a 'teen in Rome, which is accepted.[10]
December 21st - 23rd, 2025
Deadnaming Soyrusalem & Gazapedo rapings:
- During these events, Jewtopia is re-named to it's deadname
, "Soyrusalem". - The now re-named Soyrusalem would buy out the Gaza strip which included an Algerian tranny named Apigale. Xhe seethed and made a new Gaza named "Gaza 2". 'Teens then proceeded to rape all buildings along the Gaza strip along with transporting materials used and stashed into Soyrusalem, as well as building a huge moat along Gaza 2.*Many nations, Oceanic and Roman Empire sent spies using invisibility potions to scout out the NuSoyrusalem.
- A random kike named AIPACBeneficiary who was part of the New York nation under the now defunct "American Empire" communicates and has aligned ximself with Soyrusalem, trading and helping us out. The kike was using soyspeak which means whoever that random 'teen was had power in high places. In present day xhey are currently MIA.
March 5th, 2026:
Operation Waterfall Part 1:
- 'Teens find a Nether Portal in the Nether that takes you inside of DoomedCornKing's base which also happens to be the home of his many wolves; A few soldiers of Soyrusalem would take advantage of this by pushing all of his dogs into a network of Nether portals to bring back to Soyrusalem to be displayed and held captive in the museum, they would then be rescued by xim until 'teens stole them back again a day later.
March 6-7th, 2026:
>OYYYYYYYYY WHY IS THERE FEDS IN MY 'CRAFTOperation Waterfall Part 2:
- Just one day after DoomedCornKing brought his wolves back to Masada, the Soyrusalem ubermench goose-stepped back into his base to steal his wolves again only this time they were placed in boats to stop xim from rescuing them easily.
- 'Teens would start using the voice chatting feature within the server which was a haven of great ideas to fuck with our masadite neighbour and started to build an automated chicken farm in the Nether going into Masada along with
sendingdonating boats and TNT in minecarts through the portal. This event had graced the name of "the boatspam incident".
- During the boat spamming, a unidentified janny chimed in and listened to us for a while who also admitted having links to the government and police; said janny then alerted one of the server administrator, Synistor, who saw all of the chickens and boats we sent through into the masadian goon cave which raped his computer to 5FPS; xe had to manually destroy the hundreds of boats as the entity clearing command was broken. Jannies would laugh this off as a joke and just gave one of the 'teens a warning.
March 8th, 2026:
The Cacaborean Boom:
- CobsonTALKS streams on the 'tube and plays on Earthpol bringing his enclave of cacaborean soldiers along with encouraging /craft/ veterans to join back. This event has caused a large boom in activity making Soyrusalem at this current event in time the most active nation in the server.
Notable Characters:
Members:
This page is a stub or is unfinished. (You) WILL help by expanding ita † symbol indicates that this user has been permanently 'nished.
- 86demin - the guy that kept soyrusalem alive and at one point was the only active player, convinced 'talks to stream soyrusalem and created the swinny thread, created a decent amount of infostructure, also rebuilt many old soyrusalem buildings.
- CobsonTALKS - helped revive soyrusalem and was the founder of the first kingdom.
- fulminatinggold - gemmy 'teen who created many useful farms but has since gone inactive.
- Howevertheburger - came up with the idea of building jarty villages around masada.
- Niko_Bellic - member (wip dont have enough info)
- SAVE_HOSPITALS - current mayor of soyrusalem.
- sek8man - member (wip dont have enough info)
- Shreklord5 † - was a good PVPer that got permanently banned for whatever reason, quote from synistor: "what rule did he not break"
- Wackysniper76 (formerly xgl8) - helped find villagers.
Neutral:
- Moroccan Caca - Mayor of Morocco: Obsessed cacaborean who joins our voice chats and often visits Soyrusalem, he hasn't been seen since the caca was holed into a sandstone house in Jartyville, then being burned to death by a 'teen with lava.
- Jannies - 0xBit & Synistor: The Earthpol jannies will often check into what we are doing which can be hilarious but also bad as they will monitor our every move and listen to our conversations. Jannies have funded Soyrusalem with gold in the 2nd Colonization in addition to this; have been known to be biased as they will let us slip with messages that would normally get a player banned which allows a better vocabulary when causing SWS (server wide seethe).🗝️
Enemies:
- Masada - DoomedCornKing AKA "GoonedPornQueen" & such variations: Local gegbvll and QBSESSED nigger who calls us blasphemous or something like that, leader and only resident of the west bank AKA Masada; DoomedCornKing is also backed and affiliated with the Roman Empire.
- Roman Empire: The Larp Empire declared many 'teens outlaws, however no official war declaration yet. RomeCUCKS usually like to threaten to 'ox and set large bounties on 'teens along with watching us in our home of Soyrusalem often after causing SWS, their plan is to use invisibility potions and hope that a unknowing 'teen will step out of land claims so they can be lynched.
NuGaza - Apigale AKA "Ackigale"After the Gaza strip was sold for a low price the sissa was forced to be part of Soyrusalem shortly after 'teens destroyed each building along with every Gazapedo home in Gaza which made Ackigale leak. Xhe then went on to create Gaza 2 however this is currently irrelevant as xhe has been quiet along with not being very active for a while. Ackigale is currently 'nished permanently for stacking too many bans.
Allies:
- California
Borealia Even though we make them seethe.
- Iran
- Ottoman Empire
- Sweden
- Swinacht Fellow 'teens
| December Crusade on Jewtopia | |||
|---|---|---|---|
| |||
| Belligerents | |||
| File:Flag of Israel.svg Jewtopia/Soyrusalem |
 Gaza | ||
| Commanders and leaders | |||
| NuGODs & /craft/ veterans. |
Rome: PopeCraftaroni| Mokiiscool Syria: FLITT Gaza: Apigale | ||
| Casualties and losses | |||
| Rome claims Jewtopia lost the duel |
Jewtopia claims Rome lost the duel Gaza strip gets mowed down by 'teens. | ||
Geg Gallery:
-
Waiting Game -
Syrian Leakage -
Soyrusalem as of December 21st.
Nucopypasta:
Oh wow, another “epic Minecraft raid” manifesto from the same guys who think larping as “kikes” in a block game is peak comedy. Truly the pinnacle of based chud energy.
“NEVER FORGET WHAT THEY DID TO OUR BELOVED CITY, SOYRUSALEM.”
Bro, you got griefed in a 12-year-old sandbox game and you’re out here writing a blood oath like it’s the fall of Constantinople. Touch grass. Or at least touch a real city that wasn’t built by 15-year-olds on a server that smells like stale Cheetos.
“Gather 256 gold ingots so we can /t create a town.”
256 gold ingots? That’s not a town, that’s a mid-tier base you’ll lose in a week when someone with a stack of TNT logs on at 3 AM. You’re not building a nation; you’re building a very expensive sandcastle for the sea to wash away.
“Induce as much seethe as possible… do not become a nation as long as possible so they cannot conquer us. Be a (((Jew))).”
Ah yes, the classic “I’m so based I’m literally antisemitic in Minecraft” strat. Nothing screams “I’m a winner” like hiding behind a town name that’s just a slur with a Minecraft prefix. And the “be a (((Jew)))” part? Peak irony poisoning. You’re not trolling the server; you’re just proving the stereotype you’re mocking is accurate. Self-own of the century.
“Infiltrate other nations and steal from them like the kikes we are.”
You’re literally advertising that you’re going to grief, steal, and grief again while hiding behind “it’s just a larp.” The admins will have you banned faster than you can say “oy vey.” And when they do, you’ll cry “censorship” on the sharty like you’re Anne Frank with a keyboard.
“View World map + Location: https://earthpol.com/map/…”
Yeah, sure, drop the exact coords so the server can watch you get spawn-camped for the next three months. Genius opsec, king. Truly the masterminds behind the “guerilla warfare” of a game where you can fly with a rocket and blow up everything in one night.
This whole thing reads like a 16-year-old’s revenge arc written by someone who’s never won a single PvP fight in his life. You’re not “instigating” anything except the server staff’s ban hammer.
Keep larping as a Minecraft Jew, though. It’s the only thing you’re good at.
Stay seething, stay small, stay banned. Gemmy raid, bro. Truly.
