User:Chiapas Aryan/Nice People Spring Theraphy™

Effective ad with a 100% success rate in convincing people to undertake the best mistake thing they have ever done in their lives.

CBT INVOLUNTARY SUBMERGED LIQUID VAT THERAPHY (CBTSLVT FOR SHORT... WE WERE THINKING ABOUT NAMING IT CONTROL BUT WE COULDN'T FIND THE RIGHT ACRYONYM FOR IT, IT BEING TOO OBVIOUS WAS A FOURTH OR MAYBE FIFTH CONSIDERATION.) MARKETED AS "THE NICE PEOPLE SPRING THERAPHY™" IS A REVOLUTIONARY TREATMENT WITH A 101% SUCCESS RATE WITH A 1 MARGIN OF ERROR DEVELOPED THANKS TO THE ADVANCES BROUGHT FORTH BY THE FOURTH INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION SPEARHEEADED BY IT'S LEADER ISAAK MORGENSTERN. THE NICE PEOPLE SPRING THERAPHY™ OFFERS A VARIETY OF NEVER BEFORE SEEN BENEFITS THAT WILL RID YOU OF THOSE PESKY NAGGING THOUGHTS AND INSTEAD YOU WILL BE ABLE TO FOCUS ON WHAT MATTERS MOST YOUR CAREER AND WORK ETHIC. FOR MORE INFORMATION READ THE REST OF THIS UNBIASED PEER REVIEWED ARTICLE.

HISTORY.

CBTSLVT was developed by scientists in REDACTED for the purposes of REDACTED REDACTED REDACTED The process is known to be extremely REDACTED with disability rates associated with the therapy being 50% or more. The person which leaked this has been fixed.

There's no history to be learned at least not in this case.

THE PROCESS.

LEAKED IMAGE OF THE PROCESS. IGNORE THE ANIMALS IN THE VATS.

To apply for CBTSLVT therapy you just need to present yourself to the nearest government office NO ID REQUIRED! We encourage children and pregnant mothers to undertake the process as scientists have discovered the therapy is particularly effective on those populations. After the quick 2 minute process you will be directed to an underground facility and will be rendered "immobile" by a trained nurse then you will be dipped in the Kool Aid I mean the CBT Liquid, the process is painless and completely numb meaning you will not even notice time has passed until the therapy is complete. The process usually takes from 5 to 6 days but it may take more in particularly intelligent people MENTALLY COMPROMISED INDIVIDUALS.

After this time has passed you will be released from the vat offered new recycled sustainable clothes for an incredible price! as the ones you have will be soaked from the process and a cool ID card free of charge that certifies you as a nice person (we will be rolling out restrictions on people who don't have it) Once you're release you might feel weird maybe a little stupid if this is the case ask the operator to dip you in the vat immediately as negative reactions such as those are products of incomplete personality erasure.

After you finish the process we recommend you take a combination of meds as outlined here for maximum benefits.

THE BENEFITS.

Aside from the ID card you receive after treatment is complete which will become mandatory to access any government service starting in 2027. You will experience.

• Perpetual bliss.
• Relieved from any form of mental illness.
• Desires of becoming a woman or a man.
• Gender euphoria in trans people.
• Tolerance to raw bug flavours.
• Correct political opinions.
• Loving the neighbor (Nigerian immigrants)
• Inability to ever worry about anything again
• Shutting down on command and perhaps never waking up.
• A desire to live in a major city.
• Psychic powers (not confirmed if so then will remove in next update)
• Attraction to black people and Indians.

"SIDE-EFFECTS"

As a result of pesky and completely unjust and tyrannical laws that prevent us from keeping you safe we are obliged to inform you about certain "side-effects" of undertaking this theraphy. N™ote that these "side-effects" have been confirmed to occur in less than 0.0000001% of cases according to the most recent peer-reviewed papers from very prestigious university™ and even in those cases they're really mild and easily reversible so do not worry about the symptoms listed in the following... List. Even if they may sound scary in reality it is just medical jargon for things like "nosebleeds" or "the flu"

• Halitosis
• Reduced mental acuity
• Basal Ganglia Disease
• Primary Progressive Aphasia
• Executive dysfunction
• ADHD
• Cluster headache
• Toxic Encephalopathy.
• Intercranial Hypertension
• Ischemic neurovascular event
• Autism spectrum disorder.

Note that these are only ones being reported by unscrupulous so-called independent journalists and not the milder ones that we know happen more often like severe nosebleeds. In any case there's no need to worry about these and if you happen to suffer from one or multiple of these just blame your bad diet composed of nothing but red meat.

FAMOUS PEOPLE WHO HAVE UNDERTOOK THE THERAPHY.

In heavily populated regions such as the Shapital capital region adoption has surged to 5% and rising. Famous people like... Uh... THEY ARE JUST TAKING IT OKAY, YOU VILL NOT INVESTIGATE THIS FURTHER (to control the clearly wrongful desires of investigating further we encourage you to undertake the therapy today!)

THE FUTURE.

Currently CBTSLVT has only been rolled out in Soyim but our trusty experts expect that by next year the technology will have extended to most of the nations in the Shation as we expect to overthrow their governments and dump a modified version of the liquid in the water supply. respectfully ask for full adoption of CBTSLVT therapy in national health programs.